Dating is expensive! I’m not just talking about the cost of dinner, drinks, and/or a movie; I’m talking about the expense of your emotions and time in the dating process. In dating, the quantity over quality principle can leave you too emotionally drained to find the right person to spend your valuable time and energy with. You should always keep in perspective the time you’re giving to the dating process, remembering that your time is valuable, and every minute with the wrong person, is a minute taken away from being with the right person. Therefore you should always want to make productive time out of your dating experiences. So how do you get around the dating process without pickup up the scars that come from dating too man Mr. and Ms. Wrong? Make your first date a mini-date.
What is a mini-date?
A mini-date is exactly what it sounds like, a mini-date. It’s an abbreviated version of what a full date would be like except you won’t have the expense associated with having a full date. It’s a date without the emotional, financial, and time constraints that are normally associated with a full date. A mini-date should be used like a pre-qualification for a full date.
How long should a mini-date last?
A good time for a mini-date is 30 min to 1 hour. If after 30 minutes you’ve had enough, then you know you saved yourself from the time of enduring another ‘date from hell.’ If after one hour you’re both still intrigued about one another, that’s a good indication that a full date might be in order.
What should I talk about on a mini-date?
Specifics should be saved for a full date and/or a relationship. However you should want to touch upon subject matters that are important to you. You should be willing to openly ask for, and tell your ‘deal breakers.’ You should touch on all those subjects that people tell you not to talk about. Sex, Religion, and Politics, thou not necessarily in that order, and there’s no reason to be sexually graphic. There’s no sense spending an entire evening with someone you know you will have philosophical differences with. Opposites may attract, but they don’t last. In the end, it’s better to date someone that you share similar interest with. If you’re Catholic and the person that you’re on a mini date with is Jewish, and you both know that neither will convert, a full date is not necessary. If your views are more liberal and your dates are more conservative, there’s a good chance that you will have more things to disagree on than agree on. Know already what you’re willing and not willing to accept, and what things can be compromised.
What’s the best day and time for a mini-date?
Unlike a regular date, for a mini-date you want to choose a day and time where time WILL be an issue. In other words, you should try to schedule min-dates for those times when you have something to do before and/or after the date. A lunch or breakfast is a good mini-date.
Where’s a good place to go for a mini-date?
The purpose of a mini-date isn’t romance, but rather to gather enough information to see if a relationship with the person can lead to romance. You should choose places that are public and unromantic. You want to choose a place where the focus can be on the conversation and getting to know one another and not on the ambience, food, or waiter, or any other things that could be a distraction to getting to know the real person. For a min-date try going to a coffee shop, a bookstore, the gym, or a simple sandwich shop restaurant.
What places should I avoid for a mini-date?
Since you’re trying to extract enough information from your date to qualify them for a full date, it’s best to stay away from intimate restaurants, sporting events, bars, and night clubs. Basically stay away from loud places and any place where it would be difficult to carry a meaningful conversation.
Mini-dates can be a very effective tool to pre-qualify your dates before you make the investment of your time in going on a real date. The greatest investment in dating is your time; and time is your most valuable asset. If you choose and invest wisely, you will reap the dividends in the end.
Obi aka The Relationship Guy, provides insightful, common sense, witty, and some times sarcastic articles on love, dating, and relationships. His forthcoming book, ‘The Blueprint of Love’ goes into detail about the game of love. You can read more articles and get more information about the book by going to: [http://www.theblueprintoflove.com] You can also read his blog on married life called: Marriage 101: Lessons Learned in the First Year of Marriage
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