It’s very common as the relationship progresses, for busy couples to begin to take each other for granted. Usually the first thing that goes in an established relationship is the quality time spent with each other building the relationship. Starting a date night is a great way for couples to ‘stay connected’ no matter how busy their schedule may become.
What is a date night
A date night is a way to rekindle and reminisce on the times when you both first started dating, and the giddiness it made you feel. For most people, during the dating period both people are on their best behaviors, and arguments and disagreements are kept at a minimum. Many people feel that after they ‘got’ the person, they wanted, they are no longer dating. This usually makes one or both of the people in the relationship complacent. Complacency is the silent killer of relationships. Date night is a way of taking the ho hum, and turning it into Ooh…hun!
Starting a date night
When you start a date night, you should pick a day of the week that’s good for both parties, where there will be few chances for missing the date. Honestly look at and asses both schedules, and sit down and determine the date that’s best for both. It’s good to also take into account the proposed start and maybe end of date night. For some people, a few hours is fine, for others, date night means all night long. Sit and decided what’s the best day and time that both people will be able to actively and openly participate in date night. When you decide on a day and time for date, it’s also good to set up the ground rules for how date night should be. These rules should include reasons why and in what circumstances a date night could be broken, and what the penalties for breaking the date night would be. You might also pick an alternative night for date night when the times come when unavoidable situations may arise.
Planning the date night
It takes two devoted people working on the relationship to make and keep the relationship last. As an established couple both parties should actively participate in planning the date night. It’s best if each person alternates every other week planning the date night for the other person. Choose activities that both parties enjoy doing and actively can participate in. Be creative and be different. Don’t settle for routine when it’s your turn to plan for date night. Don’t be afraid to try something new and/or choose something that both parties have been interested in trying, but have not done.
If you want to plan a date night for talking, remember to keep the conversation positive and be reflective on your feelings, the good times you had, and the great times yet to come. Date night is not the time, nor the place to air grievances and/or to dump on the other party. Remember that the reason that you want to plan and keep a date night is because you want to continue to build on the intimacy that’s already established and to make sure that neither party loses interest in keeping a date night.
Keeping the date night
The most important reason to start and plan a date night is making sure that you keep the date night going. You should try your best to ensure that nothing stops or prevents you from enjoying many nights of date nights throughout your relationship. Inevitably through time, situation, and/or profession, date night will be missed or cancelled. One of the best ways to keep a date night is to establish SPP’s (Sexual Penalty Points) for the person that breaks a date night engagement. This is a fun and harmless way that both people win, when a date night is missed. Sit together and make a list of postcards with various sensual acts that a person can pick from when a SPP has been assessed.
Another great way to keep date night is to give friendly reminders and hints about what could be expected during the next date night. Many times the tease or contemplation of what could be expected on date night is enough to intrigue the other party to make sure they don’t miss it. Of course, you should be prepared to match the expectation! Giving hints and leaving reminder notes about what you have planned for date night is a great way to keep both parties interest peaked in wanting to keep the date night alive.
Date night is the responsibility of both people in the relationship. Just like it took two people to start the relationship, it will take the same two to make the necessary sacrifices to keep the date night dates. These represent just a few things that you can do to keep your date night active and your relationship moving in the right direction.
Obi aka The Relationship Guy, provides insightful, common sense, witty, and some times sarcastic articles on love, dating, and relationships. His forthcoming book, ‘The Blueprint of Love’ goes into detail about the game of love. You can read more articles and get more information about the book by going to: [http://www.theblueprintoflove.com]. You can also read his blog on married life called: Marriage 101: Lessons Learned in the First Year of Marriage
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